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An Open Letter To Enneagram Nines

Well hello there.

Let me first apologize for not writing to you sooner. I know it has taken me some time to get around to it. That being said, I know that for you, patience is a virtue and I highly doubt you hold any frustration towards me because of that. I've never really known you to be in a hurry or impatient, which, I think, is one of the best gifts you bring to the world.

I'm curious though, do you ever get impatient with yourself? I know you rarely get that way with others, but do you ever wish you could make a decision quicker? As someone who is often hard of themselves, I can definitely relate to that. If you are like that, I have a thought I'd like to share: Let's call it the Golden Rule for Nines.

Normally, the "Golden Rule" says "Do unto others what you would like done unto you." But the Golden Rule for Nines says, "Do unto yourself what you would do unto others." See the difference?

You have so much patience and so much grace for others. You are slow to speak and quick to listen. It is such a gift to those around you, and it will be just as much of a gift to yourself.

Being a Nine can be challenging, I'm sure; always feeling pushed in one direction, yet pulled in another. You may feel a bit like the trees you see on the side of the highway, being blown back and forth constantly, hardly ever just standing straight up under their own strength. It would be tempting to think that a tree not strong enough to stand against the wind is not very strong at all. But hear this: flexibility is a strength! Tall trees must be flexible, otherwise, they won't sway with the wind; instead, they'll break!

So instead of beating yourself up, remember that it takes immense strength to be flexible. The world is better off for having you in it. When the rest of us can't see eye to eye, there you are to help us along. Your perspective is powerful, and we need you to be brave enough to express it. We need you to bring us together, bending and flexing like only you can in order to connect us to one another. Sincerely, The Rest of Us


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