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  • Writer's pictureRyan Mayfield

Can I be passionate & still have friends?

Would you consider yourself a passionate and caring person? Do you ever feel like other people don’t care as much as you do…as much as they should? Is it hard to get ahead or work with a team because everyone else takes your passion as aggression towards them?

Life as a passionate person can be hard. Sometimes it feels like you just can’t win: if you push, people think you’re too harsh, but if you don’t push, nothing will get done! It’s a classic no-win scenario! Perhaps you’ve even gotten to the point where you have given up on trying to build many meaningful relationships because it’s just easier to forge ahead on your own…you’re more effective that way anyway.

It’s almost like you’re carrying a giant weight on your shoulders, and no one is helping you. They could at least get out of your way (and you try to tell them to do so), but when they don’t listen to you, they end up hurt! And it looks like it’s your fault! For many who are so passionate about life, at the end of the day you find that you are very effective, and very alone. If you’ve seen the recent Avengers movie, Infinity War, you may identify a bit with the character Thanos…stick with me.


Thanos’ goal isn’t just to change the world but to change every world. He is consumed by what he believes to be the most noble and worthy task he could embark on. He so believes it that it makes no sense to him why anyone would oppose his grand and benevolent mission. In the end, he achieves his goal, but it costs him all of his closest relationships. “How much did it cost,” his sacrificed daughter asks. “Everything,” he replies. He sits down after accomplishing his greatest hope, all alone and sad.

But what if there is a better way?

Our greatest joy comes when we are able to share what we love with the people we love. Personally, my favorite show is The Office. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy watching The Office by myself. But my joy is multiplied many times over when I can watch it, and enjoy it together, with those I am closest to! What if you could save the rainforest AND not alienate yourself from your family? What if you could care for orphans AND hold down a solid relationship? What if you could change the world AND have friends?! I believe it is possible, and I believe it is possible for YOU.

You may think you can only really connect in a deep and lasting way with someone who is as passionate about life as you are. But I believe connection between people is not simply built on what we do, but even more on why we do it. In fact, the richest depth of connection can only be found among a diversity of whats under a common why. Knowing your own why allows you to share your intrinsic motivation with those closest to you. This will open the door for others to share their motivations as well. And when we find common motivations (whys), then our diverse passions (whats) can joyfully exist together, and relationships can finally grow.

Our greatest joy comes when we are able to share what we love with the people we love.

So if you’re ready to discover your whys, maybe it’s time to consider coming to the table. Our team training will help you discover what really motivates you and your team, and how you can thrive together. Schedule your team training today!


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