An Open Letter To Enneagram Twos
First things first...you are amazing! I know it probably feels like the rest of us don't notice how much you do, but don't let that get you down. We are all very much aware that if you weren't around, we would all fall apart. You are so faithful and helpful, making sure we all have everything we need. We just simply couldn't make it without you.
They say that your superpower is sensing and serving, and I couldn't agree more. It's like you have this sixth sense that lets you know when someone is feeling anxious, unsettled, or frustrated. It's really amazing to watch. Most of us can't even fathom what it's like to literally be able to feel other people's stress!
In some ways, you are like our smoke detectors. You sense when something is wrong and then you snap into action. Just remember, the best smoke detectors don't go off at the first sign of a slightly-overcooked pork chop...the best smoke detectors sound the alarm only when there is something we should truly be concerned about.
That being said, let me formally say, on behalf of the rest of us: Thank You. You are truly an irreplaceable and critical piece of our world.
Honestly, I don't have much to say about how you interact with us. You get it, and I don't know that anything I could say would add to what you already do. You do so much! My one and only piece of advice for you, Two, is this: Take care of yourself.
I know that you think you need to spend all of your energy taking care of the rest of us, but if you really want to make us happy, make sure you are taking care of yourself too. No one wants to see you burn out, or even worse, give in to that resentment that sometimes burns beneath the surface when you feel overlooked. (Are you surprised I knew about that? Probably not. I know you try to hide it, but at the same time try to show just enough of it so that at least one person will see it.)
We see you. And we appreciate you. But we need you to let us know when you need something. We aren't going to value you any less or think you are flawed if you need something. We'll just think you are human, like the rest of us.
We don't doubt that you are for us, but we also want you to be with us.
So don't be afraid to ask for help, and don't be afraid to get your own needs met. I know it can be scary because it feels like if you take time to meet your own needs, you will have less time to do that for others. But let's play the long-game here. Making sure your own needs are taken care of will allow you to meet the needs of the rest of us for many years to come. And that is really helpful -and hopeful- for you and for us.
You're the best. Thanks for all you do.
The Rest Of Us